Truman's surgery - God's plan

How do I explain to a golden retriever that all the pain he is feeling is for his own good? Truman had four tumors taken off yesterday. My blissfully happy dog is now exhausted and uncomfortable. The pain meds zonk his energy and even going outside to relieve himself is hard. Big swaths of his gorgeous fur are gone.

It reminds me of how I rail against God when I go through tough times. Instead of saying, "You know the plan and I trust you," I cry and scream, "Why did you let this happen to me?" Like Truman, I don't see the end game. I don't see the why. Like Truman's surgeries, all my losses, times of grief, and great disappointments, have made me who I am today. Without these trials I would be a less compassionate human being who is

Michal Heller - philosopher and cosmologist

Quotation from Michal Heller, as he was awarded the Templeton Prize in 2008:

"If we ask about the cause of the universe we should ask about the cause of mathematical laws. By doing so we are back in the great blueprint of God’s thinking about the universe; the question on ultimate causality: why is there something rather than nothing? When asking this question, we are not asking about a cause like all other causes. We are asking about the root of all possible causes. Science is but a collective effort of the human mind to read the mind of God from question marks out of which we and the world around us seem to be made."

The roof is done!

Last fall, we received 18 inches of rain in eastern North Carolina in 24 hours. My already aging roof had leaks all over the place. So this summer I had it replaced. God bless men who can work outside in North Carolina in the summer. I would sweat just standing outside talking to the roofing contractor. Although they were the nicest guys, it is so wonderful to have my house back. It's 7:30 in the morning and there are no trucks in the driveway, nor is there any pounding on the roof. Lucy, my cat, is relaxed and not cowering under the bed. Even though I didn't do any of the work (except pay them), this feels like a monumental task out of the way.

Running with Truman summer 2010

I'm blessed to be able to not teach this summer. That hasn't happened in years. In fact it's a bit scary to have a couple months where I don't teach. Fortunately, I did just that this summer and it has been a wonderful respite. I think I was more exhausted from teaching than I realized. I am spending the summer working on lectures for a new textbook we are adopting in the fall, but my days are my own to schedule, and that is bliss.

One of the activities I have tried to do every day is to get in a run or hike with Truman, my golden retriever. For an older dog (I don't know how old, but his muzzle is white), he LOVES a good run or hike. We run in the national forest where there are gravel roads that don't get much traffic. It's been terribly hot and humid with the heat index hitting over 100 each day for a couple weeks now. Fortunately there is a beaver pond about halfway through our 3 mile run that Truman can jump into and cool down. The challenge lately hasn't been the heat, however. There are biting deer flies that swarm us, especially once I begin to sweat. I've been spraying myself with bug spray with a Deet factor of 40. It does help, but one of these days I am sure my skin will just melt off from the heat and chemicals. Still though, I am very fortunate to have time, energy, a forest, and a dog to run with. These times remind me of a Jane Kenyon poem I love.

'Otherwise'

I got out of bed
on two strong legs.
It might have been
otherwise. I ate
cereal, sweet
milk, ripe, flawless
peach. It might
have been otherwise.
I took the dog uphill
to the birch wood.
All morning I did
the work I love.

At noon I lay down
with my mate. It might
have been otherwise.
We ate dinner together
at a table with silver
candlesticks. It might
have been otherwise.
I slept in a bed
in a room with paintings
on the walls, and
planned another day
just like this day.
But one day, I know,
it will be otherwise.

-- Jane Kenyon

Sociology Wordle

Operant Conditioning with Truman

Here's a video that I made showing operant conditioning with my dog, Truman.